that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
