I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
