He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
