We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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