My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
