Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.