i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.