I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you