I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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