Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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