I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just gift wrapped bread.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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