do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
