Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
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