You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
