the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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