TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
