I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
false alarm. still invincible.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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