...so i touched it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
