fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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