I heard we made out
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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