just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
