wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
