so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
