Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
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of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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