well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
