I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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