I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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