Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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