Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
