6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize