she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
