Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
