Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize