i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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