u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
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he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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