Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I will die if light touches me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
