We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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