This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
