where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
