how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Boobs are out for the taking
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
