He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
