I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
