oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize