Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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