He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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