In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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