Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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