I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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