Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
