you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
