there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
