her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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