Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize