he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
