Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
