I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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