Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
