I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
