Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
