I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
