please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
