break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
