Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off