Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"