I accidentally burped into my bong.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
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We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night