is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
vagina is talking i cant
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
